A brand new woman

6 weeks and a bit later and I'm finally back to my normal self.  I'm not going to pretend that I got myself better all by myself it's taken some tablets for the anxiety and doctor's orders are that I take them for at least 4 months.  I have no idea where I would be without them, it may have been the hormones and ordinary baby blues but I'm glad I caved in.  I hit a very low low and in all honesty hate seeing pictures of me or Albie in the really early days as they are a reminder of how sad I was and how desperate I was to go back to my old life oh the guilt!!

How life has changed now though. In fact I would take back my first statement above I'm not my old self anymore I'm a brand new woman, a mummy and I love it! I'm gushing all the time at how much I love my son and my husband for making such a beautiful child with me. I suddenly want an ark of children if we make them as happy as Albie though he is not so happy in the evenings, we have zero couple time but all seems to be forgotten when he smiles later on! Oh and for this ark of children I need to sort out the next birth so that postpartum hemorrhage can be avoided as best as possible that was an awfully long recovery,

Mark has taken to fatherhood like it was his vocation he is super dad and me, well I'm getting there! I'm the Mum who bashes the pram around the place I'm just glad Albie loves a bumpy ride! And seriously if someone tells me one more time that "you need a license for one of them" I will scream!

Life is changing very fast around me, suddenly I'm not the one going back to work part time in April anymore. I'm planning on going back full time working from home and we're hoping Mark will find a part time job instead. I've been told by some people it will be hard to work at home but I don't see why I can't break the day up so I can spend time with Albie in between work tasks and Mark will be there to look after him. I'm not mad enough to think that I could actually work and look after Albie especially when his naps in the day start reducing. I just love that Mark can be with Albie too, at the moment he comes home to a screaming baby it's not what he wants.

We've also been told that our landlord is thinking of selling the house, as a believer in fate I'm sure it's a sign that we should be making some changes.

A different walk

I really love the idea of carrying Albie in a carrier or sling so I'm doing quite a bit of research at the moment as to which type would be best.  A friend of my Mums gave us an old carrier and yesterday we tried that out to see what it's like.  It was so good to take Albie into the woods as our pram wouldn't be able to do the job. The carrier we've been given was pretty hard on my back but was ok for a short while and so the mission has begun to find something better.  If anyone has any recommendations I'd be grateful.

I'm back home from my parents now and so my two months of stay at home Mum has begun it's so daunting I wish I could go back to work already!

My two boys

My heart just leaps at these pictures of my baby boy and his Daddy I'm such a lucky girl. 

Mark is back to work this week and I'm suffering a bit with anxiety so have gone to my parents for a week for some support while I throw myself into looking after Albie through the night and the day.  I know it will be good for me but I'm looking forward to the week ending quickly so we can be back together again.